Chasing Magic
“The person you were a year ago would be so proud of the person you are today.”
I read that while scrolling social media yesterday. The person I was a year ago was a mess. I was gray… gray clothes, gray skin, gray soul. In the middle of a midlife crisis, trying to run away from my unsatisfying life. But as everyone knows, you can’t run away from yourself.
The person I am today is wildly happy, fulfilled, content and confident. The story of what happened in a year’s time is pretty cool.
I had just come home from Florida, where I attempted (for the second time) to jolt myself into caring about something… anything. I was stuck.
I was a cliché. The empty nest mother, riding the current of her life on a three-wheel bicycle with a hole in its basket. I was dog paddling in circles in a dark pond with only my nostrils above water. See? Cliché.
So, I did what all lucky women do… I met my best girlfriend for lunch.
On top of everything else, I had just made a huge personal mistake that I couldn’t forgive myself for, and I was hoping that a diner confessional and a plate of pierogi with my pal would straighten me out.
She listened. And after I dumped my rotten sewage cocktail of bitching and moaning onto her lap, she said, “You want a life that you don’t have. Get off your ass and make it.”
I sat in silence, mouth agape. Stunned by the raw truth.
“But I don’t want to make it all by myself; I’m already lonely, and I don’t want to do another lonely thing,” I answered.
“Then let’s do it together. Me and you,” she said.
That day at that lunch, we talked about what we would each want if we knew we could not fail. Turned out we wanted many of the same things. Her dreams could easily be connected to my dreams. A studio where she could do her photography and I could write. A business in which we would rent out our lovely space to other creatives who need a place to shoot photos or host a book club or an art show. A best friend’s clubhouse somewhere cool. Somewhere with great vibes and great restaurants.
She had the photography contacts who would potentially rent the space by the hour and the knowledge to design a great studio. I had the money and the time and nothing to lose but the version of myself I had grown to hate. I wanted to be a real writer, and I couldn’t do it from home, where the laundry swallows me whole, and I never seem to turn off the TV. I needed this. More than I ever knew.
We went home and told our husbands. They were both tentatively interested.
I’ve learned a lot from my husband, and when he wants something, he doesn’t hesitate. He goes out and gets it. We talked about the budget and the risks. He told me to dream BIG. To not settle.
“If the right space comes along, you will know it,” He said.
I told him I was looking for magic.
My bestie and I set up tours of four retail spaces in one day. We wanted to get a feel for what was out there and how much it might cost. There’s a town between her house and mine called Rochester, Michigan.
It is everything.
It is quaint and small but a real community with a downtown that is about as charming as it gets. The downtown authority prohibits chain stores or restaurants from setting up shop there. Imagine dozens of mom-and-pop-owned restaurants, and each one is absolutely wonderful and different from the next. Shops that sell artsy clothes, delightful desserts, and coffee (no Starbucks here), a Tarot card store with psychic readers, art galleries, and a jewelry store. Three walkable blocks of truly unique businesses.
It is a destination location, and we never thought we’d be able to afford to rent a space here in a million years. We were chasing magic and dreaming big, and to the two of us, Rochester was as big as we ever wanted to be.
The first three spaces were very office-like. Gray commercial carpeting, small windows, and ugly, well above our budget. We played it cool like we really knew what we were looking for and pretended to consider each one. “We will think about it and get back to you. Could you move this wall and fix this floor?” We were bluffing, just gathering data.
Until we walked into the last space of the day.
It was 500 square feet directly above the coolest little coffee shop in town. We could smell the hint of coffee beans roasting as we climbed the stairs of the hundred-year-old building. Located in the absolute heart of downtown Rochester. The real estate agent unlocked the door to suite A, and we took one step inside, and I said, “Oh shit.”
Magic.
Three big floor-to-ceiling windows with gorgeous natural light flooding the space. It was a bit of a construction zone, with unfinished cement floors and stained ceiling tiles, but it reeked of potential. It had the “it” factor. My bestie gave me the side-eye, which I knew meant, “Stay cool, Michelle. Don’t let him know how we feel just yet.”
We talked amongst ourselves quietly as we walked around the room.
The real estate agent said, “The coffee shop owners own the entire building, and they want to rent to people from the area who love Rochester and appreciate the vibe here.”
“We are local. We get it.”
Something came over me, and I turned into a real estate mogul. “It’s great, but are the owners going to finish the floors, paint, and do something about this ceiling?” I want this. I want it more than I have wanted anything.
“Yes, they are going to put in new hardwood floors, new ceiling tiles, and all fresh paint in any color the new tenant chooses.”
I want to hug him. But I take a breath and say, “That sounds good. But I do think the rent is a little above market.” It’s exactly within our budget.
“Would they take $100 a month less on a one-year lease?” I am wheeling and dealing, heart about to pound out of my chest. “I will ask them,” he answers.
Bestie and I walk across the street and are seated at one of my all-time favorite restaurants. It’s a place one goes for birthdays and special occasions. We are seated by the window and can see the coffee shop and the gorgeous little space above it.
“What in the hell are we doing????” she whispers.
“Chasing magic,” I say with confidence that was born just a few minutes ago.
As we finished our lunch and tried every which way to talk ourselves out of it, I received a text from the agent. They accepted our terms. We can take possession of the space in three weeks.
We asked for 24 hours to think about it, went home to our spouses, and texted each other a thousand times, back and forth, yes and no.
My husband said, “There will always be a reason not to do it. You are happier in this moment just talking about this than you have been in years. Take a chance on yourself. I support you. Do what your heart wants, and do not let fear run your life for one more day.”
We had until 5 pm the next day to give our answer.
My bestie and her son went up to the space early that morning and peeked in the window. Her son looked down, and in the hallway, right in front of the door, was a penny.
“Look, Mom, a penny! It’s a sign! It’s good luck! You HAVE to do this!”
…and The Lucky Penny Studio was born.
We have been chasing magic every day since.
A message to my faithful followers: I thank you for your friendship, and I cherish our CallMeWhenYouGetThere family. Look for lots more essays to come in the very near future! Love, Michelle